Audition woes

The audition....what can I say to accurately describe my exact experience? First of all, the choir director I auditioned for was a teacher of my college choir director. This tells me a few things as students tend to turn out a little like their teachers: he is probably VERY anal, disorganized and has so much going on in his brain musically that he seems a little like a scatterbrain. Considering my college choir director was pretty hard on me, this only makes me feel as if this situation would be the same. Of course it didn't help that the director kept stopping me to tell me that I was doing things wrong or that I need to stop doing a mix of 2 styles, I should pick one and stick to it. First of all, the audition required no solo work which was nice so I was going in there thinking it would be a pretty laid back; boy was I wrong. Instead of a solo, he had me sing Silent Night so of course I picked the oratorio style with the big vibrato to sing with. I got done and he basically told me that this isn't good enough to sing Bach and that he needed me to sing it again, this time with no vibrato so I did (I sang many a Bach pieces in college and I don't remember having to sing everything with absolutely NO vibrato - this is where I get the anal prediction that I mentioned before). So then, he goes into the "I'll play 5 notes and you sing them back" part of the audition. First of all, who came up with this thinking it is an accurate way to see how good of a vocalist you are? I am HORRIBLE at singing by ear so this part was almost humiliating for me because he kept stopping me and telling me to listen and sing it again. And then came the sight reading; I never understood why this was part of an audition because you are so wracked with nerves that you can't even sing a proper 5 note scale without screwing up, what makes these people think I will actually be able to sight read? So, I sing though the 4 measure diddy and then he asks me what I did wrong. Of course, I'm thinking the entire thing but I say, "Well, I know I got the second to last note wrong." Of course, he corrects me by telling me that well, the only thing I got right was the first measure and the rhythm and he makes me sing it again.....twice. After that (thank God), the audition was over but not the part about being humiliated by the director. He proceeds to ask me where I've been singing since graduating; of course, I had to tell him the truth and I said, "well, nowhere because every time I audition I never get a call back." He then asks about church choir and of course I say no and he understands about church choir being frustrating. So he sends me out the door with the generic handout with all the important information and tells me that letters (not phone calls, letters) will be out in the mail by the end of the week and rehersals start next week if I make it. So of course, by this time I'm convinced that I blew this entire audition and that I either need to stop trying or I have to go back to voice lessons (which by the way, I should have never stopped taking them in the first place but having no money to do so kind of takes care of that for you). So I've been on the internet all night trying to find someone in the area with at least an MM to take private from. I did find a professor from St. Olaf and I shot her an email. Hopefully I hear back soon....I have to get some time in before all of the other choirs audition (usually in May and June).

Well, I guess that's about all; I think I've done enough ranting about the audition to make everybody's head spin and I'm tired so I'm going to bed.

Tomorrow, I'm gonna start the day with a nice TALL cup of java....I'll need it after today.