Quickly....

Just thought I would jot down a few thoughts before heading off to bed. I put Karsten down tonight at 7:30 and there was NO complaining. Ahhhh, the quiet, good for the ears.

I found an in-home daycare that we might put Karsten in. It is a husband and wife who are Christians and just HAPPEN to have an opening the day that we need daycare. The price is half of what we pay now at the center which is almost the car payment I have been trying to make room for.

I have been really guilty lately about not being able to be home more. I'm starting to realize that the time I am getting with Karsten lately is a couple of hours at the end of the day right before bed time and I feel like I don't get enough time to play with him. I realize that just because I have to work doesn't make me a bad mom but sometimes I feel like a bad mom because I can't be home for him all of the time. I had a really tough day last week when I ran to the mall during my lunch break to run an errand and all of these moms were there with their kids spending the day at the mall and here I was wishing that was me. Yea, these are probably SAHMs who's husbands make a 6 digit salary (I was in Eden Prairie after all) and there is no reason for them to work but I long to be able to do what these women are blessed with now. I never imagined having to go to work every day would be as difficult as it is.

I interviewed for a new position at work within the department that I currently work in and I find out if I got it next week. I'm still kind of on the ledge about whether or not I would actually accept the position. Perks: going to salary from hourly, higher pay, using a different set of skills drawbacks: mandatory overtime. If they are able to cut me a deal and give me a company laptop that I can do my overtime from home after Karsten falls asleep then I would be willing to do it but I already feel like I don't get enough mommy time with him every day. I guess I'll just see what they have to offer (if I even get it) and go from there. I can tell you right now that it will be a difficult decision to make.

I'm off to bed now - hopefully sleep comes easier tonight since the wind has calmed down (it was whipping so loud against the house last night that it was hard for me to sleep through). Don't let the bed bugs bite ;o)